Calla Lillies

I had never had a favorite flower since I have never been partial to flowers, I've always preferred Fall and Winter and that is mainly branches and leaves, but Eggplant Calla lilies and Orchids are now on my radar. Especially the Calla Lilies. My bouquet for my wedding now stars these beautiful flowers and I couldn't be happier. As you can see this has also inspired a background change. :D

For Eleseret

So my best friend went off to travel the world. I was happy for her, but sometimes I wish she were here. When I need to vent about my mother and other family, ask her opinion about outfits and those sort of girly things, I wish she were here. Now that I'm getting married and trying to do all the planning, I miss her for her creative eye and balance of quirky, beautiful, dark elegance. Also I miss being there for her. Not knowing how she is and if she is happy really makes me feel useless. I am really afraid that once she is a traveled woman of the world, will she even connect with me any longer? Will my career in medical illustration bore her, rather than rivet her like it did not so long ago? So many many questions since everything is changing to rapidly. I feel for the first time that I am finished growing up. 

I always felt so mature and that the end of the road was so far away, that I never even really stopped to think about a life after school. A job using skills I learned in college, with people under me taking my orders. Now I have no way of knowing how of if things will turn out but I choose to accept that I simply do not know the answers. I just really wish that my friendships, more like sisterhood, (no traveling pants required) will grow forever with depth, value and complexity instead of fading away like boxed drugstore hair color.

Simply Meant to Be

I've been planning my wedding in January for about 6 months now and I have changed my mind drastically when in comes to decorating about 3 times. The only things that I have held on to are my colors and my theme, The Nightmare Before Christmas. 

The hardest part about a theme wedding in my opinion is figuring out how to keep enough elements of your theme without making your wedding seem like a Halloween party or something like that.  I still want it to feel like a wedding but also have those quintessential hints of whimsy that Tim Burton in known for. Since I want to keep it elegant I will be infusing my theme with black and white damask and a bit of Victorian vintage.  My venue is not made for Gothic winter weddings rather the opposite with its abundance of palm trees and tiki torches, but since our wedding will be held at night, all that will be visible are the Christmas lights wrapped around the trees and banister railings around the pond.

So that I can keep from hanging things on the walls I am going to pot large branches that I wrap with Christmas lights and push them against the walls. Also I am going to make some props for the centerpieces since each table will not be numbered, rather belong to a certain character from the movie. Such as Jack's Table, Sally's Table, Zero's Table, etc. Each centerpeice will reflect the character. For instance I am going to put antique corked bottles in a basket and place wooden sewing spools on Sally's table, and purchase a Florence Boiling Flask fill in with orange food coloring and water and place that on top of my copy of Grey's Anatomy for Dr. Finklestein's table.

Also I am going to make a foam board sign that looks like the Halloween town countdown clock that says 000 and says "Days To Wedding" instead of "Days To Halloween." I hope that I can balance everything otherwise I'm worried it will seem like a child's birthday party.

New Art from Old Photo

Original Photo

First Painting of Photo

Remember the photo shoot with the sexy goth make-up, well I have taken a Van Gogh inspired look at painting one of those photos. This is not a very good photo since I had to take it with my web-cam.Then I took it a step farther with a second painting of the same photograph, but this one was way more of a pain since I really strive to keep the Van Gogh inspired look and the details of an actual human face. The two somewhat clashed at times, but I was able to keep the texture and colors harmonious with the quality of my own photo.

Second Painting of  Photo

 

Engaged

Well I just got engaged last month and I couldn't be happier. My fiance is the most amazing person I have ever met.

Prison of Ice

A frigid wind entraps my heartless soul
Alive but dead a mere disguise of me
I'm proof of what you reap is what you sow.

I am a frozen stream that will not flow
I'm seeking refuge from this hell I see
A frigid wind entraps my heartless soul.

I live apart from everyone I know
This hollow shell is what I have to be
I'm proof of what you reap is what you sow.

I keep myself away from my own goal
The tundra's cold surrounds this ghostly me
A frigid wind entraps my heartless soul.

I hide the girl inside this grave of snow
Our souls are locked away, we cannot flee
I'm proof of what you reap is what you sow.

I'm lying dormant but I soon will blow
The keeper of the key will set me free
A frigid wind entraps my heartless soul
I'm proof of what you reap is what you sow

Go Carts

              The second I hopped out of the car, I started trembling as the sound of the go karts zipping around the track flooded my ears. The wind kept whipping my hair around my face to where I had to keep swiping it out of the way. This cumbersome task became annoying and difficult since I was holding my boyfriend's hand. As we crossed the short parking lot to enter the small building next to the track, I kept thinking of how perfect my birthday party would turn out, but I would have never expected the day to be anything like it actually was.

            A multitude of noises exploded in my face when we opened the door. The sounds of children yelling, various dings and pings of the video games, and tennis shoes slapping on the slick floor melded with the race cars outside creating pure chaos. As I stood in the doorway looking around my surroundings, I noticed that this tiny shack encompassed an arcade, a bathroom, and two enclosed areas just big enough to fit two tables in each one. One of these small sections was where we were going to set up for cake before we raced the carts. I smelled gasoline, garlic, and cake all at the same time which was strangely appealing. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a small secluded photo booth with a curtain hanging over the doorway in the corner.
          I dragged Erich over and practically shoved him into it. The skin on his neck doubled up on his attempt to fit into the picture, which made him look fat. Even though he didn't want to take it, he smiled. The only problem was that his smile was obviously forced. I climbed in after him with ease because I am much smaller than he is. I put the money in, cuddled up to Erich, and smiled at the camera. Out of the four tiny pictures only two came out well, but even those were not very good. I wish that I had realized that those minuscule photos would be the last pictures of a happy couple that we would ever have.
         After that we laid out plates and served the pepperoni pizza, which was devoured in no more than ten minutes. Then we had a choice of a chocolate or vanilla cupcake, and a scoop of Blue Bell Cookies 'n' Cream ice cream. I was almost finished with mine, when I heard the unforgettable screech of Trisha's voice, "Oh, my God! Erich, I didn't know that you were gonna be here."
          Erich buried his head in his hands as his ex, Trisha, walked over to us. He dropped his spoon and said, "I've lost my appetite. How the fuck did she find out I was here?"
         "Hey, Babe. Havin' fun at this lame ass party, 'cause you know you're always welcome to hang with us," Trisha said with a smirk as she nodded her head toward a group of two or three girls and one guy all wearing ratty blue jeans, dirty flip flops, and T-shirts that were probably two for one at WalMart.
          I stood up, crossed my arms, and said as politely as possible, "Trisha, I don't want to be rude, but this is a private party and you're not invited. So if you could just leave us alone, that would be nice."
"Well, ain't you Little Miss Princess. Babe, the offer still stands." She flipped her sandy blonde hair in my face and walked back to her friends.
          I turned to Erich and said, "I am so tired of her tryin' to push up on you. Let's go play some games."
I grabbed his hand and proceeded to walk over to the South Park pinball game. Trisha must have been watching because she started walking over to the same game, but we got there first. I put in my coins and started to play when she "accidentally" ran into me.

         "Oops! Sorry." The words slithered out of her mouth just to bite me in the ass. I couldn't take it anymore. She had been doing this crap for months, so I snapped around, grabbed her arm, and said, "Trisha, Erich doesn't want a fat ugly bitch for a girlfriend. That's why he broke up with you. Get over it and leave us alone."

          I was staring directly into her dull green eyes, and for a second I thought I could see a glint of a tear. I felt really terrible, until she swung her enormous fist into my gut. She knocked the wind out of me. I stumbled toward her group of friends, but to me they seemed like a pack of snarling hyenas as they egged her on to mess me up. I stopped myself from falling over and lifted my head to see her guffawing in front me.

         My anger came over me, and instead of waiting for someone to break up the fight, I rammed her like a linebacker. She flew backward and her head hit the corner of the game. It toppled over onto her as the glass immediately shattered. Sparks began to dance around her unconscious body like fireworks at a Fourth of July celebration. "YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU KILLED KENNY!" ran on a loop for what seemed like hours.

         I collapsed in a heap on the floor as I helplessly watch her friends descend upon her lifeless body. The police were called and they took Trisha away in a frenzy of sirens, screams, and the buzzing voices of the witnesses and the people wondering what was going on. Erich, my mother, and my father all surrounded me until the cops questioned them one by one.

        I was told an hour later that Trisha hemorrhaged and died. I was charged with her murder and I am now serving ten years in prison. It would have longer if I had not taken the plea bargain, by pleading guilty. I still never got to ride my damn go cart.