Sunday, September 18, 2011

Dedication

             "Marisa, Just leave me alone," wept Xavier. "I’ll do anything. Please just stop." Bulbous tears plummeted rapidly forming a shallow pool in his lap. He knelt on his knees, with his head hung low almost as if he had been partially decapitated.
              A lofty voice permeated the air. This wicked whisper announced, "Baby I love you. I’ll never leave you all alone. We need each other. Remember what you said?" a cackle emanated from Marisa, who was circling Xavier in a shark like motion.
               "If you stop this…I’ll…. I’ll…. turn myself in. F-f-f-f-for real. I s-s-swear," he pleaded as his voice quivered. His head bobbed as he struggled to take deep breaths. Forcing out the words, he dug his nails into his hands trying to keep a grip on reality. Marisa’s spiral glide abruptly stopped in front of Xavier. She twisted around as to face him, knelt, extended her pale stiff left hand and grabbed his chin. He slightly resisted as she raised his face to meet her gazed. Upon visual contact, Xavier’s pupils dilated as the rest of the color in his body drained away. He gasped. Then sputtered out a miniscule almost inaudible squeal. Marisa’s face was nothing like before he had hurt her two weeks ago. Her rich mahogany hair was grimy and dull. Her golden skin used to glow with warmth, but a sallow cracked completion replaced it. Her sparkling mocha eyes were now sunken and black as obsidian. These hollow holes gleamed in the moonlight that slipped in through Xavier’s bedroom window.
          "Babe I don’t want you sent away, especially because of me. I want to collect on your promise. It’s the least that I deserve after what you did to me. Remember what you promised me?" A large deranged grin spread like an endless chasm, across her inhuman face. "You promised…yourself to me...Forever"
           She closed her eyes and leaned forward slowly puckering her peeling blue lips. Xavier’s eyes bulged as he tried to struggle, but he was paralyzed.
           He abruptly sat straight up on his bed panting and screaming out "MARISA." His mother bolted into his room and cradled him.
           "Honey, they’ll find Marisa. Whoever took her will be caught, and then we can all get back to our lives."
            Xavier stared blankly at the wall, as his mother rocked him. He spoke in a small whisper endlessly repeating, "Marisa." A month later, his parents placed him in a sanitarium. It was a week before his 17th birthday. He’s 21 now but no one visits anymore. Well as far as the nurses document, for they only see a deranged young man, not his dedicated companion.

more olf stuff

I feel your criticizing gaze bore into my skull
just like this world that crushes my vertebrae into dust
I'm the forgotten rose in the closet
deprived from water and sun
I'm wilted
limp from exasperation
I'm crushed by this high voltage darkness
like you always have
ignore me as I melt into this eternal abyss
Originally posted April 24th, 2008
_______________________________________
Wicked Wonderland

I'm the crimson queen of broken hearts
Decaying in my house of cards
that rests upon the chessboard field

that pesky little Cheshire Cat
perched on the Mad hatter's Hat
the door mouse's fate is Sealed

Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee
who's riddles confuse me
speak of oysters who from their shells were peeled

we are all in Wicked Wonderland
that rest in my royal hand
with my scepter that I wield

Originally posted April 18th, 2008
_____________________________________

Blackberry Abyss

My Mother always said
be Careful what you wish for
her voice was like needles in my eardrums

I wished for a blackyberry PDA
nothing happened.....
one cloudfilled day the wind whirred and licked about me
    I lost my footing and fell over
                   A Cliff
and clinging to the edge i saw a bush
                  a thick jucy blackberry bush
and once agian i could hear
 my mother's needly voice saying
Be Careful what you wish for
as i plummeted to my death
_______________________________________
clandestiny

stop
to take a breath
after you choke upon the curdled words you screamed at me

Stay calm
as you stop drop and Roll
After you set yourself on fire to watch the sparkle of the flames

scream out MY name
maybe then you'll remember it

hold on to your safety-pinned memories
as I disintegrate everything you've ever known
I'm just reciprocating all atrocities
then finally I'll leave you All alone
with your withered remnants
Touché
Checkmate
I've won
_____________________________________

Decomposing Butterflies

the decomposed butterflies feed til dawn
no soul is safe from scarlet tainted grip
Angelic Demons are of Satan's spawn

I stand appalled just like a doe-eyed fawn
as angels lost in hate begin to slip
the decomposed butterflies feed til dawn

from Heaven's light to fiery flicker drawn
nightmare of fearful victims flesh they strip
Angelic Demons are of Satan's spawn

paralyzed I watch their great brawn
the descending monsters take prey to rip
the decomposed butterflies feed til dawn

the Bright moon like the dead is wan
like bats with acrobatic twirls and dips
Angelic Demons are of Satan's spawn

they Come for me hungry now all hope's gone
upon my face is fear my blood they sip
the decomposed butterflies feed til dawn
Angelic Demons are of Satan's spawn


Third Installment of Old Poetry

Watch Me

Watch me from across the room
with hunger in your eyes
Watch me slither, glide towards you
you're mesmerized
Watch me brush my lips against your ear
i'll whisper naughty things
that i know you want to hear
Watch me plunge my fangs in you
drain away your life
Watch me glide away from your corpse
completely satisfied

Originally posted June 11th, 2008

tethered to a corpse

and there i go
slipping through
this is the last time i think of you
waiting for
somthing else
at least i can't fail this too

I'll walk away
one last time
i won't keep you tethered
to me forever
I'll set us free
I'm sorry
Originally posted June 8th, 2008

Letter to the Love of Last Week
I hope there's a shard buried deep inside your heart that twists every time you hear my name. I know that I'm not to blame for your immaturity, just your continued existence. Love, that tricky bitch blinded me to all your imperfections. Next time she presents herself to me, I'll make sure to beat her 'til she's black, blue, purple and swollen. I'll leave Love crumpled in a burgundy pool of her own blood and strewn teeth.
Her broken bones are my trophy for my fractured heart. This is my carnage carnival and I am the ring master of all who enter the gates of my hell.
(This was a product of a combination of a broken heart and good old-fashioned teen angst.)

Originally posted April 9th, 2008




More Old Writing

Clementines

Perscription bottles and clemintines
Peel off the orange
Get the sweet stuff inside 
 
Originally posted February 4th, 2009
 

Imploading on Myself

Thick night rolls over me, clouding my thoughts. My aching eyes and oxygen deprived brain, lulls me. Sleep is wanted. No...needed, but is denied. A responsible person would have turned in hours ago, but I didn't and I won't. My need to be with those I love drives me in this internal war. To speak to them is to be with them, even though I am away.
Now I am crumbling under the darkness' pressure. Imploding on myself. With tender back and aching eyes, I accept defeat.
Let the nightmares slither into my consciousness and deaden my soul. I am armed with love. Soon the sunlit dawn will break, and once again I will be thrown into reality.
 
Originally posted August 18th, 2008

your simulated love won't fill this endless void
i'm tired of fuckin hearin that i'm paranoid
you're dickin around but i gotta stay true
fuck this shit i'm through with you
shut up bitch this ain't over yet
a woman hath scorn don't fuckin' forget
I'll be laughin when they drag me away
I'm chillin with this necklace of your vertebrae

Originally post August 3rd, 2008

Old Poetry and Stories Salvaged from old Myspace Page

Nevermore

You’re feeble attempts to fix us mirrors
Cleaning windows of a burning building
Smoke, soot black billows out
It clings and absorbs into the moist, pure clouds
Thunder shakes our squaller shack
Polluted ink drops paint your crystal windows
Splattered on my face, these sooty globs
Mingle with mascaraed sobs
The polluted clouds hover low over this dirty shack
With an ominous omniscience
Like a stately onyx Raven
Quoting wise phrases from another world 
“Nevermore”
Like never mind
Just like I never mattered in your mind
Now you strive to save something you crushed long ago?
Finally tired, sick from exhaustion I feel no woe
“Nevermore”
My sorrow subsided sometime ago
Deep RAGE replaced the love I felt
I do not grudge your lack of Love
I loathe you for the time I’ve wasted 
“Nevermore”


Just desserts, as far I’m concerned
When they find your charred remains
I’ll laugh and just refrain
“Nevermore”     
Originally posted February 18th, 2009
 

Oh Sweet Agony

My small purple netbook has been cracked across the screen so I have had to purchase a new computer. Don't get me wrong the new one is beautiful, but the qualities my little one had that this one does not are still left to be desired. The new one is metallic pink and is extremely pretty also this one has a built in dvd/cd burner. The screen is also quite large compared to a netbook. It is 15" where as my little netbook was only around 7".
 This is not my exact computer but it looks pretty much like this one.  The pink is a little warmer though, more rosy.

 

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Flipping Head Over Heels Literally

Yesterday, Robert and I got hit by someone in a black Honda Element on I-45. We were in the inside left lane and they were in the center lane. We were going about 60mph when all of a sudden the SUV got really close and so we swerved out of the way towards the barrier. They kept coming and hit us on the passenger side, which is my side and that made us spin and loose control and hit him again, which made us hit the barrier head first. Then we flipped 10 times. We landed upside down in the middle of the road. I was stunned for a few moments still reeling from spinning like I'd gone down the rabbit hole, when I heard Robert yelling, "Baby unbuckle your seat-belt and open your door." I unlatched my seat-belt but the car had landed more on my side so I couldn't open the door, but thankfully both our windows were down when we crashed. 
When I flipped over, I groped the scattered trash and debris looking for my cell phone, but I couldn't find it and Robert was yelling to get out of the car so I crawled out of his window. A lot of people were helping me out of the car and I began to cry once we hobbled over to the barrier. An off duty EMT named Tim saw that I was bleeding from my head so they laid me down on Robert's trench coat and shielded my face from the sun with a baseball cap. They took my vitals and applied some kind of neosporin or something like that to the large seat-belt burn across my right clavicle. Robert was not hurt at all so everyone tried to calm me down while they found out what happened from Robert. 
When the ambulance arrived they strapped me into a neck brace and onto a back board. They taped me to it with what looked like white duct tape. Someone called my Mom and I told her we were OK but that I was going to the hospital. They took me to Mainland Medical Center and I laid there in the emergency holding room not able to move because of the back board and neck brace. That was one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life because the neck brace rubbed against the seat belt burn. I laid there for I don't know how long neck to a very old woman who smelled of feces and looked like death. When a doctor finally looked at me, with in two seconds he had me removed from the restraints. They put me in a very large wheelchair and rolled me into the regular emergency room waiting area, where everyone was there. Most of mine and Robert's family showed up and were asking what happened.
After I gave my statement to the police, I was wheeled to the "Express care" area because I wasn't very injured. After several hours I signed that I was not pregnant at least 5 time and got a CAT scan and x-rays. Thankfully I do not have any broken bones or a concussion, just a lot of bruises and some minor scrapes and cuts. The seat belt burn hurts most of all but my swollen left knee makes it hard to walk or stand for too long.

Thankfully, Robert and I are safe and unharmed for the most part.